Son of Secrets Page 7

  He went to stand, but she pushed his head harder into her chest while driving a small silver knife into the other side of her throat. Once more she guided him, this time to her other breast that was now slick with bright red blood. Her grasp on the back of his neck was too strong to fight, so he gave in to the warm, thick liquid. He no longer cared what he was drinking; it was working. He felt alive again. More than alive.

  She took his hand and guided it beneath her long skirt, pushing it between her parted legs. Beneath the colourful layers of fabric, she was naked. Sebastian tried to move, but her vice-like grip held his face against her chest.

  ‘Sebastian,’ she whispered, pushing his fingers inside of her as he hungrily sucked at her breast. ‘We are going to have so much fun.’

  ELLA SAW VERY little of Josh after their dinner together. The following day had been full of back-to-back meetings, and when she’d knocked on his door that evening, he’d shrugged apologetically and pointed at his laptop where two suited men with heavy American accents were on the screen discussing junkets and premieres.

  ‘Can I see you tomorrow?’ he’d whispered.

  She hardly slept all night, her stomach tying itself in knots. What was she doing? As soon as she’d promised to avoid all men, Josh had stepped back into her life. Josh, the same man who, according to Zac, was her future. How was that possible? He seemed nicer than how she’d remembered him, but that wasn’t the point.

  After a restless sleep she decided to take the day off work and show Josh the sights of Tarifa. What harm would it do? It was his last day after all.

  ‘That’s amazing news! I’m thrilled!’ her assistant Paloma exclaimed after Ella had briefed the team.

  ‘It’s only a day off,’ she replied, screwing up her face at her assistant’s excitement. ‘I know they are rare but…’

  ‘Go! Take him his breakfast and invite him out for the day. It will be worth it, I promise.’

  Bewildered but hopeful, Ella had done as she was told, asking Josh to meet her when he was ready. An hour later, he’d found his way to the back of her ground-floor apartment via the garden entrance. And there he now was on her patio, hands behind his head and feet propped up on her patio table, yet again wearing nothing but a pair of shorts as if the idea of putting on a top had never occurred to him. Ella was beginning to grow accustomed to seeing him half naked. Well, perhaps not exactly accustomed yet, but her heart skipped fewer beats each time she laid eyes on his bare torso.

  She joined him outside, and he gave her a slow smile.

  ‘Hey, gorgeous. Ready to hit the beach?’

  Gorgeous? Men like him flirted with everyone, and she’d be stupid to take him seriously. Ella had thrown on her cutoff jean shorts and worn a loose cropped T-shirt over her bikini. She’d lost a lot of weight since Zac had vanished, but her figure was slowly gaining its curves again. She’d noticed just that morning that her shorts no longer slid down her hips and her chest finally filled out her bikini top. Perhaps too much. Josh hadn’t appeared to notice, though, as he was already heading for the back gate.

  They picked their way down her garden steps to the private beach, Ella holding onto a picnic basket filled with food she had prepared that morning. Her camera was slung over one shoulder and bounced off her hip as they descended the stone steps from her house to the sand dunes below. Since she’d moved to Tarifa, photography had been Ella’s only interest outside of work. The Costa de la Luz, where the hotel was situated, was famed for its clear light and huge skies. Taking photos of the waves and sunsets had been her form of meditation—a healthier way of forgetting compared to her binge drinking and one-night stands. Although, in the two years she’d owned the hotel, this was the first time she’d brought anyone to her tiny secluded beach.

  Josh hovered beside her.

  ‘What have you got in there?’ he said, delving into the basket she was carrying. ‘It smells amazing.’

  ‘Get your mitts off.’

  ‘Just give me a peek.’

  ‘Don’t you get fed in Hollywood?’

  He grabbed the basket off her and ran toward the water’s edge, sprinting in jagged lines and doubling up on himself as she tried to catch up with him. When he reached the rocks at the far end, he slowed and put it down, pushing Ella back with one hand as he took items out one by one.

  ‘What are these?’

  Ella was out of breath and swatted at Josh as he looked on, amused. She gave up and sat down on the rock beside him.

  ‘You’re a prat, de Silva.’

  ‘I’m just admiring your handiwork. So, what are they?’

  ‘Empanadillas.’

  ‘Which means?’

  ‘Tuna and red pepper pastry parcels.’

  He nodded appreciatively and looked inside each individual Tupperware box. He then peeled the corners off the tinfoil parcels, smelling them and moaning in exaggerated delight.

  ‘That’s a Spanish omelette with potato and onions,’ she said before moving on to the other selections. ‘Garlic prawns, meatballs, bread, watermelon, some chorizo and Serrano ham, Manchego cheese, and that pot is full of olives. So, you know, we can suck them and spit them out.’

  Josh grinned and broke off a piece of omelette, winking at Ella as he popped it into his mouth. He gave another dramatic groan of pleasure.

  ‘Did you cook all of this yourself?’

  ‘Stop eating it! You’ll have to wait until lunchtime.’ She took the basket from him and loaded up the food, glowing inside at the compliment while hoping he couldn’t see how happy he’d made her. ‘Of course I cooked it all. It’s not difficult. Don’t I look domesticated to you?’

  He stepped behind her and peered over her shoulder. He was so close she could smell his aftershave and the sea air in his hair. Why couldn’t he put a T-shirt on? He was such a bloody flirt. His arm brushed against hers and she shivered.

  ‘Truth is, I’ve never met a woman who’s beautiful, intelligent, and fun who also knows how to cook. How come no one has snapped you up already?’

  ‘That is the most sexist comment ever, and you’re easily impressed. Anyway, who says I don’t have a boyfriend?’

  He turned her around to face him and brushed a curl of hair away from her face.

  ‘I know you don’t. And I’m not easily impressed. I can just tell when someone’s special.’

  His sun-kissed face was inches from hers and the dimple was back on his cheek. Why was he staring at her like that? She wanted to laugh but nothing came out, so she screwed up her nose instead.

  ‘Are you trying to seduce me, Josh?’

  His eyebrows shot up in amusement.

  ‘Damn it! If you have to ask, I’m obviously not as smooth as I thought.’

  ‘You’ll just have to try harder,’ she called out, running to the other side of the beach.

  Oh my God, were they flirting? She had no idea why she was bothering with Mr Vain, not to mention letting him chase her. She never ran anywhere, but it felt good to get some wind in her face—especially now that her cheeks were burning and the rest of her body was reacting in all sorts of other ways. Her heart sped up as she felt him gaining on her.

  ‘Oh, you wanna play, do you?’ he shouted out.

  She squealed and ran faster. So, this was what it felt like to enjoy herself with a man. It had been such a long time since she’d been so carefree without worrying about the consequences. Her drunken flings had never had a fun prelude; they were quick and empty and over with before they’d even started. As for Zac, he’d always been so serious and intense; she couldn’t imagine the two of them running around and acting silly. He’d been like no other man. Well, Zac hadn’t technically even been a man, but he wasn’t around anymore so there was no point comparing him to anyone else. She yelped as Josh wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her down onto the sand.

  ‘Stop it! No, I hate being tickled. Stop!’

  She was laughing so hard that her words stuck in her throat and a stitch formed in her side.
Josh was astride her, holding her arms above her head with one hand and tickling her waist with the other. She tried to move but his grip was strong, and no matter how much she attempted to stop him, her laughter was building up to hysteria.

  Suddenly, she was back in her house in London three years ago—strong hands holding her down and fingers running up her thighs. Then it was six years ago on her mother’s wedding day—a wiry man slick with sweat lying on top of her, her own body rigid with fear but too weak to move. Counting the cracks in the hotel ceiling. Crying out at the searing pain. Trapped under his suffocating weight, his high-pitched laugh and tiny-toothed smile mocking her as she sobbed.

  ‘What the fuck, Ella!’

  Josh was curled up on the sand, his face contorted in agony and his hands between his legs. Ella was on all fours, panting, tears streaming down her face and onto the sand. What had she done?

  ‘Fuck, that hurts! I can’t believe you just kneed me in the balls. Jesus, Ella, it was just a bit of fun! Can’t you take a…Ella? Are you OK?’

  She was properly crying now, her breaths rasping as she gulped in air, her hands over her face. She thought she’d got over all of that. She thought she’d moved on.

  Her whole body flinched as she felt his hand on her shoulder.

  ‘Ella, it’s OK. Take a deep breath. I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to scare you.’

  She wiped her face, her fingers black with mascara.

  ‘No, I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. God, I must look a real mess.’ She sniffed and rubbed her eyes with the palm of her hand. ‘Are you hurt?’

  He shook his head. ‘Just my pride. I’m fine. You? Are you all right? I…do you…shall I walk you home?’

  His eyes were scanning her face, his brow etched with concern. Poor Josh, he’d only been playing; he’d had no idea how pinning her down would bring all the horror bubbling up to the surface again. He helped her back up to standing; his hand felt cool and soft—reassuring. She gave him a small smile, reluctant to let go. Her tears were still damp on her cheeks.

  ‘Take a deep breath,’ he said, giving her hand a small squeeze.

  ‘Josh. I…’

  ‘It’s OK. You don’t have to explain if you don’t want to. Just tell me how I can help.’

  She took a shaky breath and sniffed again. ‘You could listen, if you have a minute?’

  ‘I have all the time in the world.’

  ‘Let’s get back to our food first before the seagulls steal it,’ she said, rubbing the sand off her knees and walking to the rocks at the far end of the bay. He jogged to keep up with her fast strides, purposely saying nothing—waiting for her to speak. He’d confided in her about his father, so maybe her biggest fears were safe with him.

  ‘I reacted like that because…’ She took another deep breath. She hadn’t realised how difficult it would be to say it out loud. ‘…because of my stepbrother.’

  ‘Sebastian? Did he hurt you?’

  She breathed out and rubbed her eyes, focusing on the wet sand oozing between her toes as they walked through the shallow waters.

  ‘He raped me. At our parents’ wedding while I was still in my bridesmaid dress. I’d never had sex before; the more I cried, the more he laughed. I didn’t tell anyone afterwards because he convinced me that it was my own fault. That I’d come on to him. I hadn’t but...’

  Josh’s face was still, but she could see that his hands had clenched into tight fists.

  ‘He went to work abroad straight after it happened,’ she continued. ‘I didn’t see him again until three years later when I was home alone at Christmastime, a few days after I last saw you actually. He let himself in and tried to do it again. Luckily Zac stopped him and, to cut a long story short, the police now know what Sebastian did to me and he’s on the run.’

  Ella sniffed and swallowed down the ache in her throat. ‘Every day I’m petrified he will find me again. I still get nightmares, especially now Zac is… I don’t know where my stepbrother is, but I do know he won’t stop until he gets his revenge on me for telling Richard and the police what he did.’ She shrugged and ran her thumbnail over her teeth, nibbling at the skin surrounding it. ‘So that’s why I freaked out just now. I’m sorry, it wasn’t you. I thought I was getting over it, but…’

  ‘Don’t apologise. Don’t ever apologise.’ He dried her tears with the back of his fingers. His own eyes were glassy, his jaw clenched. ‘I had no idea. I’m sorry. You’re safe now, I promise.’ He pulled her to him, the second time in two days, and she felt his breath in her hair as he spoke. ‘Maybe I shouldn’t go to Málaga tomorrow. I don’t want to leave knowing you’re here dealing with this on your own.’

  The last thing she wanted was Josh, someone she hardly knew, feeling sorry for her. She was already regretting opening up to him. Not even Mai Li and Kerry knew why she hated her stepbrother so much—and it hadn’t occurred to her mum or dad that she was still suffering. She’d clearly been doing a great job of hiding her fears. She pulled away and dusted herself down, even though there was no more sand left on her.

  ‘I’ll be fine. Honest. I’ve managed three years on my own, haven’t I?’ She attempted a feeble smile and nudged him lightly with her shoulder. ‘Anyway, today was meant to be a day off for me and a holiday for you, and I’ve totally killed the mood.’

  Josh leant against one of the large rocks surrounding them, a strange expression passing over his face. The soft sun brought out the natural highlights in his hair, and lines creased around his eyes as he squinted down at her. She grabbed her camera out of the food basket and took a photo.

  ‘Um, excuse me, young lady, you can’t take pictures of me!’ He laughed, pulling at the hem of her top until she was beside him. ‘Come on, hand it over. Were you planning on selling my photos to the tabloids?’

  ‘And blow my cover?’ she replied in mock horror, passing him the camera. ‘No way! I’m quite happy hiding away in my ancient monastery.’

  ‘Wow, Ella.’ He was flicking through the images on the camera’s tiny screen. ‘Is there no end to your talents? This is a bloody cool picture; they all are. You’re really good, you know that?’

  She rolled her eyes but was secretly pleased with the compliment. At least he wasn’t tiptoeing around her like a fragile victim after her confession. Ella had always felt inferior around Zac. How could she not with him being who and what he was? But Josh made her feel clever and interesting.

  Why did she keep comparing them? Anyway, even if she was beginning to fancy Josh just a teeny bit, he was going to Málaga in the morning and then back to his glitzy life. What was the point?

  ‘Are you hungry?’

  ‘Always.’

  She reached for the picnic basket beside them and sat down on the sand. ‘Hope you don’t mind a bit of crunch with your lunch,’ she said with a giggle, shaking the sand off various boxes and tinfoil parcels. There was a bottle of sangria in the bag too, which she poured out, handing Josh a plastic cup as he sat down next to her. He took it silently without looking at her.

  ‘I want to tell you something,’ he said, running his finger over a shell in the sand.

  Ella downed the warm sangria in one gulp and turned to face him, the pit of her stomach lurching as if it were filled with a million fluttering creatures. She really didn’t want him feeling sorry for her; she shouldn’t have mentioned Sebastian.

  He continued to look down at the shell on the sand, running his finger over its bumpy surface. ‘I’ve wanted to say this to you since I saw you at that London club, Indigo, all those years ago. It’s going to sound corny as hell, but I don’t care.’ He closed his eyes for a few seconds, like he was trying to brace himself, and then fixed his gaze on the sand again. ‘I’m not religious or spiritual, but sometimes I feel like there’s something out there. You know?’ He glanced at her quickly, to check she was listening, and then went back to playing with the shell. ‘The energy I feel, it’s not in the things people say or do but in the white spaces; the silences and stillnes
s. The unspoken moments. The first time I saw you in that bar on my birthday, I felt it, something I can’t quite put my finger on. It’s like…like I’m drawn to you. Every time I see you, I feel this crazy need to just be near you. Not in a sexual way, not that you’re not sexy, I just mean…’ He picked up more shells and added them to the first. ‘I know I sound stupid and we hardly know each other, but it’s been driving me mad and I just had to say something. You know what I mean? Or am I just talking a load of…?’

  He trailed off, his eyes still avoiding hers. Of course she knew what he meant. He was describing their life path together. Destiny. It had always been there; even when her soul had yearned for Zac, Josh had always been at the back of her mind. But she didn’t know how to explain it either without sounding crazy, so instead she watched him lining up the shells in the sand until eventually he rushed in to fill the silence.

  ‘Ella, I promise this isn’t a chat-up line. God, there are so many reasons why you and I wouldn’t work. I respect that,’ he said, finally looking up at her. ‘You need time to heal after your loss, and I’ve got a girl in LA. She’s a lingerie model and really lovely.’ Ella bit the inside of her cheek. Why was he telling her? What did she care anyway? She stifled a sigh because she was beginning to care and it annoyed her. Lingerie model…nice one, Josh. So predictable. ‘And we live in different countries. Continents!’ he continued. ‘So, we would never work. Anyway, I know you don’t fancy me because I’ve lost count of the amount of times you’ve told me what an arsehole I am.’ He laughed, but it sounded fake. ‘I just care about you and needed to tell you. I don’t know why or how else to explain it.’

  Ella placed her hand on his arm and smiled. ‘Josh, I get it. I know what you mean. Let’s just have a drink and chill out, yeah?’