Son of Secrets Read online

  Double shit! All she had in there was half a lemon, three bottles of wine, some sweet chilli sauce, and a piece of hard cheese. Classy. Why on earth had she thought cooking for Josh would be a good idea? She phoned for a pizza and then ran to the bathroom.

  Her intention was to have a quick shower and then think about what to wear, but once she was under the hot water, her mind brimming over with a thousand ‘what if’ questions, she completely lost track of time. She’d just started towelling herself dry when there was a knock on the door.

  ‘I’m coming!’ she shouted. Surely the pizza wasn’t here already? She wrestled into underwear that rolled and clung to her damp body, threw on a strappy cotton dress and roughly dried her hair with a towel before running to the door and yanking it open. But it wasn’t the pizza guy.

  ‘Hey,’ Josh drawled, a half smile twitching at the corner of his mouth. ‘Nice outfit.’

  She looked down to where his gaze was resting on her body, realising that her damp dress was clinging to all the wrong places. Her hair was also soaking through the back of her dress. She gathered it up and twisted it into a knot at the base of her neck, her skin prickling with embarrassment. The online magazines had shown her what kind of girls Josh was friends with—their tiny pampered dogs were better dressed than she was.

  ‘Sorry. I haven’t had a chance to do my hair or make-up. My apartment was a mess, so by the time…’

  ‘Ella, you look great.’

  He’d changed into a loose black shirt and jeans and held a bottle of red wine in each hand, which he handed over to her. She beckoned him in and accepted a kiss on the cheek. He smelled of expensive cologne, and her stomach began its usual acrobatics act. Why was she nervous? She knew him; he was just the kid she went to uni with, for God’s sake. Plus, she’d only invited him for dinner out of curiosity and to test her fate theory. Curiosity, that was all. Nothing more.

  ‘I thought we’d eat outside,’ she said.

  They crossed the apartment to the French windows that ran the length of her back wall. Josh stopped to stare at something hanging on the wall.

  ‘This is cool,’ he said, pointing to a large white feather suspended between two panes of glass in a frame. ‘What bird is it from?’

  ‘Nothing, it’s nothing. Leave it. Let’s just go into the garden.’

  She didn’t want to think about Zac right now. She waited for Josh to step outside, and then she placed the framed feather under her bed, using the opportunity to take a few deep breaths and steady her nerves. If she didn’t eat something soon, she was going to be sick.

  ‘Wow, your view is nearly as amazing as mine.’

  The dining area overlooked the ocean, and Ella had laid the table with fresh linen and flowers. The apartment was on the ground floor and the inside consisted of an open-plan room and bathroom. It wasn’t that spectacular, but it was the outside she loved the most. The cobbled terrace featured two wicker sofas, a shaded dining corner and a long, narrow swimming pool inlaid with tiny turquoise-and-gold tiles with a large stone Buddha at one end. She was no gardener, but bright pink and purple bougainvillea spilled over the back wall where there were steps that led to the beach; she had her own private bay that was cut off from the hotel’s beach by large rocks on either side.

  Josh peered over the edge of the wall and let out a low whistle.

  ‘You have your own beach?’

  Ella joined him looking out over the sand dunes.

  ‘It’s tiny, just a bit of sand and some rocks. I hardly go down there. I prefer swimming in the pool.’

  He ran his hand over the Buddha and turned in a full circle, taking in the little lanterns dotted around the garden and the bright flowers that shouted for attention against their backdrop of deep blue sea and sky.

  ‘Your place is amazing. Thanks for the dinner date.’

  ‘It’s not a date.’

  What the hell was the matter with her? Were they always going to play this game—Mr Arrogant and Little Miss Rude? Thankfully, she was saved by the doorbell.

  Josh was grinning when she returned laden with pizza boxes.

  ‘Ah, my kinda girl. Wine, pizza, and a sea view. What are you doing to me, Ella?’

  Doing to him? She had absolutely no idea what she was doing full stop.

  She’d ordered too much food; her gluttony was the worst thing about having a hangover, but Josh seemed delighted with every box and bag he opened. He was laughing in disbelief as if he’d never seen a pizza before.

  ‘Are we expecting company?’ he asked, peering inside the pizza boxes.

  ‘No. Why?’

  ‘I live in LA; women don’t eat in LA. You don’t know how refreshing it is for me to be sitting with a woman who actually likes to eat. Wow, that’s a lot of olives on there.’

  ‘Oh, I didn’t think. You don’t like olives?’

  ‘No, no, I love them but I always pick them off my pizza. I like their flavour but not the texture.’

  Now it was Ella’s turn to laugh.

  ‘Same here.’

  ‘No way! Seriously? Do you know how weird that makes us?’

  She nodded and tried to stop grinning. It didn’t mean anything. Just because they had one strange thing in common didn’t mean Zac was right and Josh was her true love.

  ‘How are your parents?’ he asked.

  ‘Fine.’

  ‘How do they feel about you living out here on your own?’

  ‘If by “they” you mean my mum and Richard, they aren’t together anymore. She’s decided to spend all her money travelling the world so she can find herself, while he hangs around wondering what he did wrong. It’s pretty fucked up to be honest. This hotel was one of her whims, until she got bored and left me to run it alone.’ And I found out that my real father was a priest, she wanted to add, and I think my mum still loves him but is fooling herself that he’s not the reason for her crazy midlife crisis.

  ‘I did read something about them splitting up. Sorry about that. So, what’s it like living out here in Tarifa?’

  He spent the rest of the evening asking Ella question after question, and when she answered he listened, really listened, as if he was going to be quizzed about her life after dinner. She wasn’t expecting such genuine attention from him.

  ‘So, did you complete your degree at RCU?’ she asked him.

  He took a bite of pizza and nodded.

  ‘Yep, a first in American History and Politics. Comes in very handy when memorising film scripts and smiling at a camera.’

  So, he could be witty, too.

  ‘Well, you never know, stardom may not last forever,’ she said. ‘You’ve always had fans, even back in uni. Do you remember Mai Li and Kerry?’ She added another black olive ring to the ever-increasing pile on the side of her plate. ‘You sat with us at that bar in Camden, Indigo. It was the first time you and I met.’

  ‘I remember meeting you, but... Oh wait, was Kerry that blonde that kept shaking her cleavage at me? She was scary!’

  ‘We’re still really good friends.’

  ‘Oh, sorry,’ he said with an apologetic face, making Ella laugh.

  ‘They’re coming out at the end of the month for my birthday.’

  ‘Cheers. Happy birthday-to-be,’ he said, clinking his glass against hers. ‘What are you doing to celebrate?’

  ‘Nothing much. Just going out with my friends and some family, maybe out to dinner somewhere. Not a big deal.’

  Josh opened the second bottle of wine and topped up her glass.

  ‘Shame I’m off in the morning. It would’ve been nice to have joined you all.’

  ‘Really? Who said you were invited?’

  She had meant it as a joke, but now he was blushing. Josh was blushing! She had no idea he had the ability to get embarrassed…or look that cute.

  ‘I was kidding!’ she said. ‘My friends would have loved to see you again.’

  ‘No. You’re right; you hardly know me. I was being presumptuous.’

  S
he stared at her plate because looking at his almond-shaped eyes and that dimpled smile was making her giddy. Had to be all the wine they were drinking. Was he as cocky and self-important as she’d first thought? Or was all that bullshit an act? Maybe she was being too hard on him. Then she thought back to the last time she’d seen him in London, what he’d said to her, and how Zac had practically beaten him up for being a spiteful little shit who thought he was God’s gift to women. Men like him didn’t change—did they?

  ‘I’m sorry,’ he said, cutting into her thoughts.

  ‘What for?’

  ‘For what happened on the bus the last time I saw you.’ So he did remember. ‘I deserved that thump your boyfriend gave me for chatting you up. I’ve felt bad about it for a long time.’

  ‘Chatting me up?’ Ella shouted, her voice louder than she’d intended it to be. ‘Josh, you wouldn’t let me off the bus unless I kissed you. What the fuck was that about? That was sexual harassment and you deserved everything you got!’ She hadn’t meant to get so angry, but now he was sitting opposite her it was all flooding back. His jeering friends, the stiflingly hot bus, the way he’d called her names for not kissing him. She dropped her voice to barely above a whisper. ‘You scared me, Josh.’

  He looked down at his plate, his mouth set in a hard line as he ran his finger along the edge of the napkin. He didn’t say anything for a long time. When he finally looked up, she wasn’t expecting to see so much pain in his eyes.

  ‘I’m sorry. I was a total mess back then. It’s no excuse, but I had some stuff going on and…’

  He stopped. Perhaps he was expecting her to roll her eyes or keep shouting at him, but he’d listened to her all evening, so it was only fair that she give him the opportunity to explain.

  ‘Go on,’ she said.

  He rubbed a hand over his face and took a deep breath. ‘I’ve never said this to anyone before, but do you remember that fancy dress party? When you came as Helen of Troy and asked me to pretend to be your boyfriend to scare off that pervy guy?’

  Of course she did. That was the night of their one and only kiss—a stage kiss, just to keep up the pretence. Although all that had happened before he’d been a creep to her.

  ‘I had a massive crush on you,’ he said. ‘When I kissed you that night, it wasn’t an act. I just never had the guts to tell you how I felt. To be honest, I used to get really nervous around you.’ He looked down at his plate and let out a light laugh while rubbing the back of his neck. Ella looked down at her plate too. It was the last thing she was expecting him to say. ‘Anyway, it was the night of the party that I found out my dad was cheating on my mum. The bastard wasn’t even hiding it—I caught him making out with a woman dressed as Marilyn Monroe. You’d left the party by then. I confronted him in the men’s bathroom, so as not to embarrass him in front of his work colleagues, and he punched me in the stomach.’

  Josh looked up, his eyes locking on hers. She had to strain to hear what he said next. ‘My own father punched me. After that, all I kept thinking about was you. I’d given you my number that night and I thought we’d meet up. I kept telling myself that life was about to get better—but you didn’t call. So, when I saw you get on that bus two weeks later, I followed you. I’d been drinking, I was with my mates and I was angry at my dad and, well, you know what happened. As I said, there’s no excuse and I was totally out of order, but I want you to know that I’ve felt bad about it ever since.’

  Ella had been quite happy thinking she knew everything about Josh—spoiled brat and sexist idiot. Simple. But the man before her was far from the strutting peacock he’d appeared to be a few hours earlier. He was either an amazing actor or he’d just lain himself totally bare before her.

  ‘I had no idea,’ she said.

  He reached over the small table and lifted her chin. She tried to look away but he tightened his grip just a little, so she had nowhere else to look but in his eyes. They were shimmering, as if the sun that an hour earlier had been warming her bare shoulders was now lighting him up from the inside.

  ‘Ella, I’ve wanted to say sorry to you for years. You were the last person I wanted to hurt. Back then you were the only one who ever treated me like a normal guy.’ His thumb made tiny stroking motions on her cheek, making her shiver. She could hear her own heartbeat mixing with the rhythm of the waves crashing behind them. What was he doing? If he didn’t take his hand off her face soon, she was going to forget how to breathe altogether.

  ‘You always did that,’ he said. ‘You still do.’

  ‘Did what?’

  ‘Make me feel normal and, well, you remind me what a self-inflated idiot I can be. I could do with more people like you in my life.’ His fingers were burning her skin. ‘My parents treated me like their golden boy. I was their only child for a long time, mummy’s little dolly and dad’s trophy. Now I’m surrounded by people that are paid to suck up to me all day. But you, you’re refreshing. I reckon you’re good for me.’ He finally let go of her face and stared over her shoulder at the beach behind her. She didn’t have to turn around to know the waves were getting bigger and darker—she could hear them building themselves up to a stormy night. He shifted his gaze back to her, his face as troubled as the waters. ‘I wish I didn’t have to leave tomorrow. I’m really glad I bumped into you.’

  Ella took a long gulp of her wine and nodded. This was the last thing she expected to happen over a slice of pizza. She felt like a fish on a hook, yet she was surprised to find herself enjoying the sensation. Was Josh flirting with her? Or had he been in LA for so long that he spoke to everyone with such emotional drama and fake sincerity?

  ‘So, what happened to your boyfriend then? The mysterious kickboxer?’ he asked, tucking into another slice of pizza as if they hadn’t just had a moment.

  She didn’t want to talk about Zac, which shocked her because she always wanted to talk about him. Zac never left her. Even though she hadn’t seen him for three years, it was as if the ghost of him was forever beside her. She hadn’t felt his shadow the entire evening, but at the very mention of his name his memory was next to her again. Watching. Making her wonder what the larger plan was and whether she was playing the game correctly.

  ‘Zac and I became a couple the night that he hit you, and we went on to have an amazing Christmas together.’

  Josh raised one eyebrow and gave her that wonky smile again. ‘Glad to know my swollen face helped facilitate your love life. What happened between you guys? I’m guessing he’s not about anymore. I didn’t notice any photos of him in your apartment.’

  Why had Josh been looking for boyfriend proof in her room?

  ‘It didn’t last. I haven’t had a serious relationship since him actually. We were only together for a few weeks and then…’ She picked at the pink skin around her thumbnail. At first it had been a comfort telling herself that Zac would return, keeping him near, but perhaps her misguided hope was holding her back. Was she ready to banish Zac’s shadow forever? She took a deep breath.

  ‘He died. On the second of January, three years ago.’ Ella bit down on her lip. Don’t cry, don’t cry. ‘Everything was perfect; we were happy but…’

  Josh was already out of his seat and crouching down beside her, pulling her head into his shoulder.

  ‘I had no idea he passed away. I’m so sorry.’

  Ella had never been one for hugging, but she let herself fall into him. His shirt smelled of cologne and the ocean. Josh comforting her about Zac was totally weird, and even stranger, for the first time it wasn’t her late boyfriend she was thinking about. It was Josh.

  This was the last thing she’d expected from him. She closed her eyes and rested her head against his chest. They stayed like that for a few moments, his hand stroking her hair, until her eyes snapped open and she sat up with a start. Something was vibrating in his shirt pocket. The moment was over.

  ‘Your phone is ringing.’

  Mouthing an apology, Josh answered it. He walked to the wall behin
d her and leant against it as he talked in hushed tones. She could feel the warmth of his stare like a ray of sunlight running along the back of her neck. It radiated through her, the heat travelling down her spine and spilling into her chest, finally reaching the pit of her stomach and turning into a scorching ball of flames. She turned around and their eyes met for a split second before he looked away. Fuck! What the hell was going on? Was this fate working, or was her recent ‘no more meaningless sex’ vow making her hornier than normal? It still doesn’t mean anything, she repeated to herself.

  ‘You won’t believe this,’ he said, returning to the table and sitting in front of her again. ‘That was Billy, the location guy. He has severe food poisoning and said there’s no point meeting him tomorrow.’ He poured them both more wine and flashed her a huge smile. ‘I don’t fly out to LAX until Saturday, so it looks like I’m staying here a few more days. How awesome is that? Best coincidence ever.’

  Coincidence? Like hell it was! She put both her hands around her wine glass, holding onto it like it was the mast of a ship in a storm. She tried to match her breathing to the rhythm of the waves behind her, but her stomach was churning as much as the sea. Coincidences didn’t exist. This was good old-fashioned fate at work pushing her and Josh together. Again.

  Zac’s shadow over her life was slowly beginning to fade. He had been right all those years ago—mistakes didn’t happen; only miracles did. She and Josh were meant to be together. Fact. And Zac was dead. Another fact.

  She turned to Josh but he was already looking at her, a questioning expression on his face. He gave her a half smile, a dimple forming on his cheek. Was he really her future? There was only one way to find out—at least this time Zac wouldn’t be coming between them.

  ZAC RUBBED HIS eyes and blinked until darkness gave way to grey shadows. Wherever he was, this wasn’t where he’d died. Running his fingers along the cold stone walls, he felt his way along the edge of the room, sticky cobwebs gathering on his fingertips. He counted his steps from one end of the space to the other—seven by five—and then stumbled, tripping over something. In the semi-darkness, he reached down to the sandy ground and ran his hand along the object. It was a long wooden box. There were three of them side by side in the centre of the room. The air smelled stale and dusty, like the basement of an old house mixed with the scent of rotting wood, earth, and death.